a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
