Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
