Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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