You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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