hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The adults are the big ones right?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
