Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
