My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize