morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
