He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
