when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
