you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
