So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
