Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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