So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
