so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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