How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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