Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
