everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I pour the whiskey from now on
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
