Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Randomize
