seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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