maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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