yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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