o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
