Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize