I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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