they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
