thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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