I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is her dick bigger than yours?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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