everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You did what with his pubic hair?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
