she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
