I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
