Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
