The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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