friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
