im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
