3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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