At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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