that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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