yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
