Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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