East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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