I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize