That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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