thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
