my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
