Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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