Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is it because I queefed?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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