The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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