I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
