Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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