Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
