I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
