if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
