I'm sorry my penis didn't work
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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