no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize