Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
