I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
