Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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