it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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