So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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