Pappa wants mamma naked
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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