just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize