6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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