that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
vagina is talking i cant
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize