I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
