You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
