I can feel you judging me through the phone.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
