Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
