when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
