There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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