you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
