Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Found the puke drawer
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
