so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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