Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
