mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize