Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I need moral support for this bender
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fuck me I smell like cheese
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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