so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize