so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
