For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
