butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
